Holiday happiness

I hope each and everyone of you has enjoyed the holidays. They are always a time where you can be yourself, enjoy food, receive gifts, a time to be happy.

My Christmas was well spend, I have had a great time with my family and friends. There was a lot of delicious food, gifts, love and laughter. Christmas has come to an end and our decorations have been put away. The preparations for new years eve start tomorrow.

Saturday a new year will begin. And at midnight an emotional high will enter all of us. We are great full for all the good things in our lives, regret mistakes we made, think about our loved ones, remember the ones we have lost, and think of all the changes you are going to make this new year.

Hugs and kisses go around and fireworks create a mist you can't see through. We keep on standing outside, trying to find someone you haven't wished a happy new year. Then we go back inside to finish our drinks and refill our glasses. Ready to enjoy the rest of the night, we look forward to the new year.

Where ever you are in the world. I wish you all a happy new year. Just in case I can't find you in the mist.

A guy eating dog poop? - Ameriquest Commercial

I was surfing on the internet today, trying to find a funny commercial, and I found alright! It is a bit of an old commercial, but it's still funny if you ask me. This commercial is from the mortgage company Ameriquest, the slogan they used in their commercials was: "Don't judge too quickly, we won't". What they created were some really funny commercials, there are a lot of them. All of them are very short and straight to the point, which makes them very funny. The one I found hilarious was this one:

In this commercial you see a guy with his dog, just sitting in the park and enjoying the weather. Deciding that it is time to go home he starts to gather his things and stands up. The dog then sees another dog and gets excited, pulling the guy forwards. The guy then drops his chocolate brownie (or whatever chocolaty thing it is), it lands behind the dog. An elderly woman and her granddaughter walk on by and they see the two dogs. Our guy pick up his brownie with a paper, making it seems like he is picking up the dog's poop. He cleans it up a bit and start to eat it. The disgust is obvious on the faces of the elderly woman and her granddaughter. The guy is happy with his brownie, then he realizes what it must seem like to the elderly woman. He quickly tries to sign to them that this is not what it seems! The emotions that the commercial transfers to us, the viewers, are obvious. We sit on our couch with a great big smile on our face. That is what I love about this commercial is all the emotions and the body language, there are no conversations, the entire story is told with emotions. What can I say, strong commercial, strong message, and a very good looking brownie.

Misinterpretations

Emotions don't only come to show when we talk to someone, I could be transferring a lot of emotions right now through writing. I am sure that you all have had moments where you text someone and that you get an unexpected reaction in return. This means that the other person has misinterpreted your message and did not get the emotion you were trying to transfer. The internet is filled with mistakes like this. I will show you one I thought was hilarious:

Misinterpretation can happen quickly and bring along a lot of trouble. So read something at least twice before you react like this, or ask what he meant. In this case, the relationship might have been saved if she had just asked: "What do you mean?"

What does anger tell me?

Anger can mean a lot of things to me, it depends on the context of the emotion. For example, when I am talking to someone and I see a micro-expression that shows me anger, I know that whatever I said must have been offending or hurtful for that person. If I don't notice it and I keep on going with my story I might upset him/her even more, which may eventually lead to an argument. When I see the micro-expression I know that whatever I said was hurtful and I can stop my story and apologize or explain what I meant with my story. This way I may have avoided an argument and saved a friendship.

Anger certainly is not my favorite emotion to see, feel or experience. It is , however, important that you know how to deal with it and to stop it in the act, if you can.

Young emotions

The first emotion I can remember is sadness. This might sound very dark and grim, but it's mainly because I was a clumsy kid. I fell very often and got injured (not badly), the little drama-queen in me couldn’t stop crying! I just had to have a towel that covered my wound so I didn't have to see it! Whenever I would see it again I started crying. Touching it was forbidden and talking about it, do you really want to go there? I remember it very vividly, I was about five years old and I was playing outside, on the grass, but on the end of the soft grass was a stone path. I tripped and fell on the stone path, ripping open my knee. I hopped on home and when I saw my mother I started crying so bad! I sat against the wall for at least an hour holding my knee with a towel to cover the wound. No one was allowed to touch it, mention it or see it, not even me. It is a bit funny when I think about it now, and I have to admit I still am a drama-queen every now and again. What can I say, I am a very emotional person. 

1+1= 1

Beyoncé's latest song tells us that 1+1= 2 (and math of course), but can 1+1= 1? Well, of course it can! Two completely different people can be connected by a shared story. Therefore equal one instead of two. Let me give you an example, let's take my mom and me. At one point we really were one, after my birth we became two different people. But during my life and hers we have created some great stories together, stories that combine us and make us one again. For instance, when I was 16 my mom and I were watching "The Uri Geller Show," we thought it was hilarious what some people could do. Knowing what Uri Geller can do (bending Spoons) we got the idea of hanging spoons on our noses. We were laughing so much that we had tears rolling over our cheeks! I always have a lot of fun with my mother, I can laugh with her, cry with her, she is like a best friend to me. This story was only one of many, we are one odd pair, but we sure do laugh a lot!

Personal hero

When it comes to personal heroes, I have to say that it would be Paul Ekman. I have mentioned him quite a lot in my previous posts. When it comes to the research in recognizing emotions and spotting liars, Paul Ekman is the leading man. He is the man behind the series "Lie to me," his research has been the base of every episode in the series. Paul Ekman was present at every shooting of all the episodes, just to be sure that the facts were right. Even on his website he put up a blog about the show, explaining into precise detail the science behind the show. Separating the facts from fiction.

Paul Ekman got me interested in recognizing emotions and even got me studying his literature. I wanted to know what he knows and to be able to do what he does. Watching the series and reading the books, I have to say I am nowhere near the level of expertise of Paul Ekman. I can say that I can recognize more now than I could before and I know what to do with that information. So I say thank you, my hero, Paul Ekman. Thank you for your inspiration and eye-opening research.

Good morning to you to!

Talking about surprises! I wish I had a camera aimed on my face this morning. The expression on my face would have been hilarious! Want to know why? Let me tell you, this morning I was just lying in my bed, sleeping of course (it was early (ish)), and when I woke up my dearest Milo was staring at me!

This might need some explaining, Milo is my lovely chihuahua puppy. He is almost nine months old now and apparently he had finished his night sleep. I was still tossing and turning in my bed, starting to wake up on my own, and when I opened my eyes I was looking straight into Milo's eyes!

If you would have taken a picture of my face right at that moment, you would have seen a lot of emotions on my face. At first I was scared, then surprised and then I was happy. Knowing that he was looking over me and guarding me in a way, felt really nice. What can I say, I love the little guy.

Put it to the test

We now know the background of the micro-expressions and the way we should interpret our knowledge, but how do we gain the knowledge? With a lot of practice of course! Since the boring part is over we can go straight to the fun part of micro-expressions, recognizing the emotions and putting your knowledge to the test! I will give you some examples to practice your new found wisdom.

Disgust

The emotion that is shown on this woman’s face is, if you haven’t guessed it yet, disgust. We all feel and know this emotion. It is in our nature to recognize it. With a still frame it is a lot easier, imagine it coming by with a 25th of a second. The way we recognize disgust is by the wrinkling of the nose and the raised upper lip.

Anger

O, how he is green and angry (not to mention ugly). We all know who this guy, with serious anger management problems, is. The Hulk, a regular guy who turns green and ugly when he gets angry. I’m sure we all know our own hulks and therefore it is important to recognize this emotion. You will recognize anger by the glare in the eyes, narrowing of the lips and the down and together eyebrows.

Fear

A very unpleasant emotion, you might experience it after seeing a horror movie or when you walk alone in the dark. You can recognize fear by raised and pulled together eyebrows, raised upper eyelids, tensed lower eyelid, lips slightly stretched horizontally back to the ears.

Sadness

Everybody is sad some days, maybe after watching a sad movie, or you might be sad because of something that has happened to you. When you interact with people, such as your friends or family, sadness is important to recognize. You can often feel when someone is sad, and we all notice the slight trembling in the lips, but there is so much more to this emotion. The drooping upper eyelids, losing the focus in the eyes, the pulling down the lip corners slightly.

Happiness

Desired by many,achieved by some, happiness. A look that fits everybody, we all know it when we see it, but what’s the science behind it? We recognize happiness by the crow’s feet wrinkles, pushed up cheeks and the movement from the muscle that orbits the eye.

Surprise

When I was searching for an example for this emotion, all I could find were surprised kids. Maybe that’s because when we get older we have seen so much, so much that we don’t get surprised as fast as kids. But when we do get surprised we sure do show it! How can you see the difference between happiness and surprise? Easy, by the raised eyebrows, widened eyes and the open mouth (which you can see clearly on thispicture).

Contempt

Apparently, former president of the United States, George W. Bush was very contempt about something. About what we don’t know, but we can clearly see the emotion on his face on this still frame. How can you recognize it in others you ask? Well it’s actually pretty easy.You simply look for the following things: The lip corner is tightened and raised on only one side of the face. It might sound simple, but this emotion does not require a lot of muscles. Therefore it will not be shown very long. Pay attention while you are talking to someone and you might catch something that they are contempt about.

I hope that this was useful for many of you, recognizing emotions in the faces of others may help you with your social skills, relationships, jobs and many other things. Practice and enjoy!

Quote of the day: "Art is a lie that makes us realize truth", Pablo Picasso.

Sorry, have we METT?

METT training programme Paul Ekman

As I promised yesterday, we will be talking about micro-expressions today. What are they, what do they tell us and most importantly how can we train to see them? We all have micro-expressions, the same way we don’t always see them in others, we don’t always notice when we have them ourselves. I am sure that we all know that feeling, a hunch that someone is lying or the feeling when you pick up something and you get the feeling that something’s just not right. These feelings may just be your subconscious picking up on micro-expressions. Your eyes just haven’t learned to see them yet, but that can change! According to Paul Ekman, you can learn to see micro-expressions within half an hour. So which micro-expressions are there and how do we see them?

A micro-expression is a brief, involuntary facial expression shown on your face following the emotions you are experiencing at the time. They usually occur when under stress, or when you have something to lose or gain. Micro-expressions are difficult to fake, unlike regular emotions. Micro-expressions express the seven universal emotions:

1. Disgust
2. Anger
3. Fear
4. Sadness
5. Happiness
6. Surprise
7. Contempt

In the 1990s Paul Ekman expanded the list of emotions, this includes positive and negative emotions not all of which are encoded in facial muscles. The expansion to the list contained to following emotions: Amusement, Contempt, Embarrassment, Excitement, Guilt, Pride, Relief, Satisfaction, Pleasure and Shame.

All micro-expressions are very brief in their duration, they only last up to 1/25^th to 1/15^th of a second. There are three different types of micro-expressions, the first is a Simulated expression. This is when a micro-expression is not accompanied by a genuine expression. Second is the Neutralized Expression, this is when a genuine expression is suppressed and the face remains neutral. Last, but not least, the Masked Expression, this is when a genuine expression is completely masked by a falsified expression.

Despite the efforts to conceal any sign of emotion, leakage may occur in a micro-expression. These tiny changes also can occur when an emotion is just beginning, often before the person knows that they are about to act emotionally. With the METT Training tool, developed by Paul Ekman, you can train to see the important signals and recognize micro-expressions. Micro-expressions tell you that the emotion is concealed, but they don’t tell you why or how it was concealed. You will need to determine if the concealment is deliberate or unconscious, as they look the same. You may need to ask some questions to figure out the motive to conceal the emotions.

Source(s):           Telling Lies, Paul Ekman, chapter on cautions

                           Emotions Revealed, Paul Ekman, chapters 5,6,7,8 and 9.

                           www.paulekman.com

                           http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microexpression

Sneek preview micro-expressions

Today I would like to share a video with you. The video shows Paul Ekman and John Cleese discussing subjects such as: Lying, emotions and micro-expressions. Paul Ekman provides us with some examples and tells us where we have to look to see a micro-expression. We learn what it tells us and how we can interpret them.

John Cleese provides a lighter side to the subject, with his humor and charisma he tells the story to make sure anyone can understand. This video is an excerpt from a miniseries which aired on BBC, called "The human face". You can watch the entire show on YouTube (following this link)

You should see this video as a hint of what's to come tomorrow. I will be talking about tricks on how to catch a liar. This involves micro-expressions, which just happens to be the subject of the short clip. So stay tuned and check in again tomorrow to learn more about micro-expressions and the use of micro-expressions.

I would like to leave you with a quote that you can think about during your day, wherever you may be in the world. "Lying is done with words and also with silence," a quote by Adrienne Rich. Have a nice day and enjoy the video. 

A lying quote

I found this quote on the internet, I thought I’d share it with you.

“A half-truth is a whole lie”

Something to think about before you go to sleep, I know I will. Check in again later this week for more information, tips and tricks on how to catch a liar. Stay tuned! 

Are you lying, Sir?

Pauk Ekman - Telling Lies

Have you ever wondered: "why didn't I notice that my boyfriend was lying to me?" or "Why didn't I notice that my best friend was lying to me?" Well I can give you the answer for your questions: probably because you weren't paying any attention! Now, don't be offended. It happens to everybody sometimes, or their entire lives, but I am here to help you. I can show you how to pay attention and how to keep your eyes open to the subtle things. So, how can you catch a liar?

According to Paul Ekman, a psychologist and pioneer in the study of emotions and their relation to facial expressions, there are multiple ways to spot a liar. He tells us where we have to look and to what we have to pay attention to. And I just happen to know a thing or two about his research. I'm in a good mood today so I'll share it with you.

First you have to set up a baseline of the person you want to catch when he (or she) is lying, this way you will know what's normal and it will be easier to determine what's not. Okay, a baseline, check! The next step is to pay attention, this might sound easy, but you will have to know what to pay attention to. Here are a few tips, so you will know what to look for in a person:

1. Different explanations than what was overheard 
2. Changing lines during the change of circumstances 
3. Having trouble recalling the last line - Answers are not consistent 
4. The line is too smooth, sounds well rehearsed 
5. Long pauses during a speech 
6. A tightening of the lower eyelid or eyebrow 
7. Certain changes in gesture (based on the baseline) 

Don't take everything for granted though, some people are well trained and won't show everything. They lie very often and have had the time to perfect their lies and their techniques. You can use these tips to catch a liar, but be careful not to convict someone who is innocent. Be sure about the lie!

Now, I know this wasn't much to go on, so check in later this week and I'll show you some more tips and tricks on how to catch a liar!

Source: Paul Ekman, Telling Lies

Welcome! Tell me, how are you?

Ladies and gentlemen let me welcome you to my first blog and blogpost. My name is Simone and I will be your host for quite some time, if you’ll let me. We will take a tour together through the world of emotions. Together we are going to take a look at those lying bastards in our lives and learn from them. Yes, I said learn from them! I am going to teach you how to catch them in the act and even outsmart them. So stick around and check in every now and again to catch up with me to understand and influence the emotions that surround you.